Breaking the Rules 76-80

Breaking the Rules 76-80

76) For the last time there are no dragons

Yet again Hiruzen's mind was at it again. This time he thought that the pie-maker's "kingdom" was being attacked by a dragon of sorts. And for once Tobirama wasn't there to encourage the young lad. Now Hashirama must deal with the exuberant boy and his teammates.

Speaking about his two teammates, they were looking at him with pleading eyes. It was the type that wanted answers. Koharu wanted him to put Hiruzen in place. Homura was cross between hoping that there is a dragon and not having one.

Despite himself of wanting to say yes to this silly idea he had to do the opposite. Of course that doesn't mean he could shot down the idea entirely.

"Sorry Hiruzen," Hashirama said. "I don't know if there are any dragons attacking a kingdom."

76a) No, they are not resting on hordes of dwerven gold.

"Maybe he hasn't attack yet since he is resting on hordes of dwerven gold," Hiruzen's mind geared up with this one.

As cool as it sounds for treasure hunting it wasn't something Hashirama needed to do. But before he could shoot this one down Homura spoke up on the subject.

76b) No there isn't dragon that is filthy stinky rich

"If he is resting on hordes of gold, doesn't that make him rich?"

"Filthy stinky rich," Hiruzen cheered.

"There are no dragons resting on dwerven gold and are stinky filthy rich," Koharu smacked both boys upside their heads.

76c) NO! It doesn't have a voice that is so velvet-smooth baritone voice that can make women change their sexualities.

"But all dragons have sexy velvety-smooth baritone voice," Hiruzen explained. "If we don't slay it for the pie-maker's kingdom than all women would change their sexualities."

"I doubt that," a sweat-drop formed on Hashirama's forehead. 'I hope not.'

"That sounds down," Koharu shot that one down. "How could a deep baritone voice do that?"

"Madara?" Hiruzen innocently asked.

77) Don't cut Madara's hair*

Madara woke up feeling strange. He wasn't physical ill or anything. Something was missing and he knew it. Mostly from his body but his eyes were intact. So what was it?

He brushed his hand over his head and realize to his horror. Somebody dared to touch his precocious hair. Who in his great and wonderful name do that? He would hunt those evil doers and scalp them for this heinous crime.

Madara quickly prepare for his hunt for those criminals. Storming the streets looking for them with nothing to show for it, he began to get more piss off. Yet he was able to find some scapegoats for his blame. His one true rival's brother and his little gang of misfits would be his lighting rod.

"Tobirama," he walked up to the albino Senju.

The albino raised an eyebrow while his students tried not to laugh. Madara's style was different to say at least. He wondered if this new style was trying to make people like him.

"Nice haircut," he bluntly stated. "When do you do it?"

"Don't play dumb with me," Madara was quick to place blame. "I knew you made your students to do me."

That in of itself wasn't very true. The only person with a steady hand was Koharu and she doesn't have the guile to do it. While Hiruzen does have it in surplus, he would accidently assassinated the Uchiha leader. While poor Homura would properly hyperventilated and pass out just coming up with the idea.

"I doubt it," Tobirama mentioned. "I think you will know if we were going do something like it."

"I find that doubtful. I know you and you little ducklings all too well. They would be happy to cut off my beautiful hair."

Tobirama was losing his last nerve with Madara. Two things that could drive him away and at least one isn't nearby. The other just gave birth to his niece and was resting. Now how could he get rid of him?

"Your hair looks like cotton candy," Hiruzen said between laughs.

"WHAT?!"

77a) Dying Madara's hair isn't a test of skill so don't do it*

Madara looked at the small creek nearby. How could he miss something like this? His beautiful ebony hair was now a horrid bright pink color. It made him sick to his stomach just looking at it. The color was happy and cheerful. It didn't give him the scare factor he needed to keep everyone in line. But now he realized all those strange stares that went his way.

"This is an attack on the pride of the Uchiha. You envied my beautiful black hair and dyed it to feel better," Madara said.

"I don't even like your hair before the chance," Tobirama stated.

77b) Don't touch Madara's hair*

"Can I touch it," Hiruzen asked. "It is so pretty now."

"It shouldn't be pretty. I'm a prideful male Uchiha. We don't have pretty hair; we have great following manes of hair."

Hashirama walked up to them with a little bounce in his step. Sure Mito gave him a daughter but he didn't care. He always wanted children and this was the best thing that could happen to him. Now he will tell how much to his younger brother again for the umpteenth time. But he saw the cotton-candy color hair of Madara.

"You dyed your hair for my daughter's birth," he was pleased his "friend" was happy for him.

"No, those three snots cut, dyed and now wanted to touch my hair," he pointed an accusing finger to them.

"So you didn't dye your hair for my daughter. But I thought that was very sweet of you. No matter, you three you know what you did wrong and don't do it again."

"But we haven't done anything yet," Hiruzen pointed out. "Other than the usual."

77c) For the last time Madara's hair isn't his precocious.

"For a man's man you sure do treat your hair like it an heirloom or something."

"It is an heirloom," Madara turned to look at Tobirama. He simply needed to fix this. He quickly stormed off to do so.

"He treats it like it's his precocious."

"Is that true?" Hiruzen asked. "Guys do you hear that. Madara's hair is his precocious. We must cast it into the fires of Mt. Doom!"

"Hiruzen!" both Senju brothers said at the same time.

'Why didn't I think of that,' Tobirama thought.

'Good lord what goes on in his mind,' Hashriama

78) Please don't put Madara on a raft and place him in a middle of lake while he is asleep. It isn't funny. (STOP LAUGHING)*

Team Awesome or better known as Team Tobirama and Kagami made devilish plans that night. Now everything was set for tonight's plan. It was a great plan hatched between Hiruzen, Homura and Kagami. And poor Koharu had no choice but to tag along with the three stupid boys.

"Don't worry," Kagami smiled. "Madara-sama had taken some powerful sleep medicine tonight. We still can do it."

"Sweet," Hiruzen could barely contain himself.

All of them snuck into the dear leader's room and dragged him to the location. The raft was ready for Madara. They carefully placed him on the raft and with a heavy push set it a drift.

"Are you sure it won't go back to any bank," Koharu pointed out a flaw.

"Don't worry Koharu-chan," Hiruzen grinned. "Homura had worked out everything."

Homura gave a nod and pushed up his glasses. It was true. He planned everything to the single detail.

"I have placed six tags on the raft. Each tag contains an anchor. So when the raft reaches the right spot I would simply release each one of them."

Koharu must admit that was pretty through of them. And very creative. But the night must drag on and the tags were released. In the morning Madara woke up in a middle of a lake not knowing what happen. Now he won't take any more sleep medicine. But something feels like Team Tobirama was behind this. Only one way to make sure if it was the case.

A few moments later.

"TOBIRAMA!"

79) Please don't hit/flirt with Madara's wife, Tobirama*

The wife of Madara was very surprising. A very definition of a sweet housewife and was quite a looker. She was the very opposite of Madara in every way. Yet under the sweet, caring housewife beat a heart of a ninja. But life as a housewife had better benefits and longer life expectancy.

Now the dainty housewife was being praised by an unlikely person. Tobirama. He knew who she was and knew her skills sets were. But he decided to praised her since she has to deal with Madara on a daily bases.

Of course it didn't look like that to Madara. It looked very different.

"Senju," he stormed up to him. "What are you doing to my wife?"

"Praising her, why? Is it a crime to praise someone?"

Before Madara could respond, his wife spoke up.

"Sweetie," she said. "Is it nice that he is praising as a capable ninja? Isn't it?"

Much to the cringe to Madara she had the ability to make him tremble without raising her voice. She appeared to be weak and unassuming but she can use it to scare anyone.

"Yes, yes it is," Madara agreed.

Oh how he hates his life right now.

80) For the last time Hiruzen, you don't speak monkey. It is like how Tobirama can't speak squirrel.

"But I can speak to monkeys," Hiruzen told Hashirama. "It isn't a hard language to learn."

"Takes a monkey to speak monkey," Tobirama smirked.

"Yeah what sensei said," the young nin agreed full heartily.

Hashirama didn't know where this came from. Maybe it is from the fact that Hiruzen had just sign a contract with the Monkey Sage or something like it. He knew that this would bring on a headache later on.

"For the last time you can't speak monkey," Hashirama tried his best but failed.

"Like how sensei could understand squirrels. Honestly he knows what they are up to."

~Outside the window~

"Soon, the world shall be ours," one squirrel told another. "Right after mating season of course."

Tobirama really did wish he couldn't understand them. Thankfully Tobi the Cat has become Tobi the Slayer of the Squirrels.

A/N: *all Pyre the Pyro's ideas. I hope they are up to your standards. And holy crap I have been doing this for nearly four years now.